Tomorrow I will change and today won't mean a thing.

I'm a bitch
I'm a mother
I'm a child
I'm a lover

I'm three weeks away from the end of the summer session, so I'm three weeks away from getting my life back. For exactly three weeks. And then fall semester starts and I will be taking three classes. The power of three. Whatever.

Furthermore I was looking over my degree plan Monday and doing some counting that finally didn't require me to take my shoes off to access additional digits, and it dawned on me that after the fall semester I need exactly three classes in order to graduate. That would be really fucking strange, to think that there was light at the end of the Bachelor of Arts tunnel. It's actually a thought that I'm not letting myself get too enamoured of, just in case.

Our Lady of the True Believer.

Urgh! Tonight's class will last until 9:50 on the dot. 9:50. She never lets us get out of there early, even the night she was sick, she sniffled and coughed her way through lecture. (Ewwwww!) So I know tonight she'll talk until 9:50, 10:05, something like that, after which I still have to get home and do some laundry because I am out of clean clothes. Urgh. Somebody remind me again why I want to be educated.

On a much happier note, the electricians are FINISHED!! Damn, I never thought they would leave! I was getting so tired of going off every morning with the house less than secure so they could get and work, and even tireder (huh?) of picking up those little bitty plastic bags that they left all over the house that started out with screws in them, but they really look like little dope baggies. Especially when static makes one stick to the back of your cat's pajamas and she takes off running like the hounds of hell are after her.

Oh, and the repair to the air conditioner only cost $ 80.00. Pitiful state of afairs when you have to have the heater and the air conditioner both serviced within one week, because you need both in one week. Gotta love this south Texas weather.

I bet you didn't whistle the theme song to "Bridge on the River Kwai".

Ok, so it usually takes me about fourty five minutes to get home from school, last night I made it in 28.

I call home every night when class let's out before I get on the road. It's a long drive and I have a ten year old car, not that I'm worried about it, but it just makes sense to let someone know when you are heading out at night.

So, after a two hour Shakespeare exam I drag to the car, get in and call. It rings, and rings, and rings. Finally my mom answers , breathless and obviously stressed out.

"What's wrong."

"Harlow slipped out."

She was still talking when I threw the phone into the seat next to me, started up Zippy and floored it. I could have gotten so many tickets last night that I'd be one of those poor fuckers you see on the side of the road on Saturday mornings wearing a plastic blaze orange vest and a look on their faces that's like, "please, run over my ass, now!" I drove like a bat out of Hell and there was no cool soundtrack to go along with it because I had stopped on the way to school to gas up and get a car wash and had taken down my car antenna.

So anyway, I white knuckle it through the South Texas night, screaming at anybody who even turns on their signal indicator in my direction. I was fighting the urge to cry as best somebody as cynical and cold (to hear some tell it) as I am can. My mouth was dry as hell and I had to tell myself at one point to breathe.

Anyway, I get to my street were there are usually at least three or four strays running around after dark, turn on my high beams and drive at like threee miles an hour until I get to the house, cause I'm convinced by now that if she does in fact get run over with my luck it'll be me that has to pull bits of my beloved cat out of my radiator. Not a cat in sight. No strays, none of my neighbors cats who are let out at night, nothing. Oh, and did I mention that a pit bull mix has moved onto the street a couple of blocks over? Yeah, I had all kinds of senarios flowing through the rickety plumbing of my mind.

I get up the drive way, expecting her to dart out from under the azaleas and into the undercarriage of my car, get out and grab my cell phone (like I could call her maybe) leave my purse and everything locked up in the car behind me and go running into the house to put on a pair of shorts and grab a flashlight because nobody is going to sleep until I find Harlow. If I had to call the electrician that has been working at the house the last couple of days and get his ass out there to start looking I was going to, and all of his crew too. (Even the one Harlow jumped on and scared the shit out of.) The screen door sticks a little so I had to jiggle it, I was ready to pull the fucker off it's hinges because I had something to do that was more important than finding a 24 hour door service. (What's another couple hundred bucks, shit!) And here come's my mom down the hall like nothing ever happened, "Oh, I thought I latched that screen", and I'm like, "well, it's a little late now because my cat has already gotten out," and I was about to launch into the tirade/litany of questions I had worked out on the brief ride home when Harlow comes prissing down the hall. My mom is like, "I didn't have your cell phone number, and you had just quit talking so there wasn't anything to do but wait." There are times when strangling the person who taught you how to use a toilet does seem like an appropriate response, and it took me a second to talk myself out of this being one of those times.

Anyway, after her assurances that Harlow had never left the premises, (the electrician's kid had seen her but she didn't and later paniced when Harlow didn't answer her) and that she had hunted and called her and whistled for her before just about giving up and deciding that she had to steel herself to face my wrath, Harlow comes prissing out from behind a chair in the living room, just pretty as you please, seh st down at my mom's feet like, "what's up?", I took my shower. And while I was in the shower, I started thiking that if mama whistled, Harlow should have responded, a whistle is her siren song, she can't resist it. But then, that is not entirely true. It dawned on me, mama didn't whistle the right tune.

"Did you whistle the theme song to "Bridge on the River Kwai"?

"Huh?"

"Bridge on the River Kwai" you know, that catchy little tune that they use in the American Express commercial?"

"She'll come to that?" Harlow was chilling behind the television at this point.

"Try it."

So my mom whistles the first little part to the song and sure enough in just a saecond here comes Harlow, she even pushed her way passed the baby bully cat to get to mama and crawl up on the bed next to her, like, "what, I'm trying to catch a little shut-eye."

All I could do at that point was laugh and go to bed. It was a long assed Monday.

Forgot my checks, got to buy stuff, ain't got no credit card, yada yada yada

No kidding, seriously my ass is tired as in I got about four hours sleep last night and that is not even enough for a chick like me. I knew going back to school would be tough, I just didn't think it would be this tough. Of course if I wasn't a masta procrastinator looking for cred, I would have it made in the shade. And, as much as I'd like to say it's all down to I can't start because I'm afraid it won't be perfect, the truth is that I can just be hella lazy.

Oh hell yes, I did just flip you off!

I hate driving in my hometown. It absolutely sux(!)worse than it did all those years ago when I was learning how to drive here. I guess I'm just far too used to the way we drive out where I live now. And yes, if you where the guy driving the white delivery van down Southmore in Pasadena this afternoon, not only did I flip you off I uttered a few vile remarks about your obvious lack of upbringing. There is a reason that your van looks like it's got a bad case of Bondo-pox and my car is in excellent condition and is getting me everywhere I need to go even though she has just had her tenth birthday, I'm a better driver than you!!!! So pull your thumb out of your backside and learn to use your f-ing mirrors!

Making the Baby Jesus cry since 1973

Sometimes, I swear to whoever it would have been so much easier had I been born a deaf mute!

Just so much easier.

I beat Oprah to "Night"!!!!!

Bwahahahahaha! I read this book ages ago! Absolutely ages ago!

I read this book BEFORE Oprah said reading was cool!!!! Doing a little happy monkey dance on the desktop right now.

Anyway. On to more important things.

Classes started this week, and my suspicions where proven correct. I should have taken a rock and killed myself years ago. I have got such a shit-load of reading to do this weekend that I could choke. It's not nearly as much fun when it's compulsory.

Parking at school has actually not been such an issue this semester, yet. I've actually found a couple of good parking places without too much problem.

Pretty fuckin' sad that as a university educated person the best thing I can come up with to post about is my parking situation. I'd talk about my graduation, but that's at least 18 months away and it's not like I'm going the cap & gown route anyway. Give me my diploma and let me the hell out!

What I did on my winter vacation.

Didn't get to get as much done on my vacation as I thought I would, but I got more done than I would have otherwise done.

The desk/uncluttered bedroom situation, well, that's best left for another discussion.

However....

I read:

The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls

Almost caused my own personal Oprah moment, several in fact, there where so many times in reading this that I wanted to break down and cry for this little girl, my heart actually ached for her. (acutally a re-read, but it still chokes me up even though I know what's going to happen)

Dead and Buried (don't remember by whom)

Drug store true crime paperback about a serial killer. There isn't much else that can be said for it. Escapism for less than $ 10.00

Dead Before Dark
Living Dead in Dallas
Club Dead all by Charlaine Harris

Ok, I'll be the first to admit that the whole Anne Rice Vampire thingee was pretty much lost on me. Too much to take in or maybe because I was considerable younger when I started to try and read these they where just over my head. Either way, I thought I was done with vampire books, and then Miz Robin over at Bitchypoo.com recommended Living Dead in Dallas so I picked it up and gave it a whirl. Eight hours later I was cussing the fact that B & N didn't open until ten the next morning and it's a fourty-five minute drive besides. Anyway, I made a special trip to town to pick up Dead Before Dark and Club Dead. And that was three days shot to hell because all I did was read.

Delta of Venus by Anais Nin

After seeing Henry & June years ago I was curious about her writings, so I ordered this last summer and had it knocking around so I picked it up and started reading it. Yes it's erotic, but it also has this Hitchcockian undertone that suggests sex is good while it lasts, but eventually everybody has to pony up and be punished for having a good time, and you may or may not be a better person for you new found knowledge. And then there was that whole sex with a corpse thing and pretty much skeeved me out. I'll probably read more of her work, but it'll have to be a later thing.

Dead Witch Walking by Kim Harrison

Ok, this comes with a big old disclaimer: I tried to read it. I really did. But three pages in and it was so fucking complicated I gave up. Of course I was on a rocky, pitching alcohol infused cruise ship out in the middle of the Gulf of Mexico and that might have challenged my powers of concentration.

Dawn by V. C. Andrews

I read the Dollanganger books years ago, in secret, because once my mother picked up Flowers in the Attic and read a few pages she flipped. Not only was the story "bad" it was "almost pornography". So needless to say she flatly refused to cut loose any more cash for said books, I didn't even bother to ask. I relied on the generosity of friends who's parents were not as curious about what they were reading to slip me their copies when they were finished. Anyway, now that I pull my own paycheck I'm working on reading more of the V. C. Andrews books. 'Nuff said.

I watched:

Anacondas: Hunt for the Blood Orchid, only because Johnny Messner was in it and I think he is hella hot!!! I'm talking third degree burn hot. The only reason to watch this dog.

The Hunted, Tommy Lee Jones movies are compulsory for me. He's got a certain quality that just compells me to watch his movies. And no, it's not exactlly a Johnny Messner thing. It's a Tommy Lee Jones thing and if you don't get it, you never will. I can't even begin to imagine Vincent D'Onofrio in this movie because as bad as Benicio Del'Toro was in it, I think VDO would have been worse. (And regular readers will remember that I've got a pretty bad VDO thing going on.)

Claire Dolan, in keeping with above mentioned VDO thing, I really like this movie, it's dark and broody and really challenges my comfort level. However it pisses me royally that I bought it on VHS less then six months ago because I couldn't stand waiting for it to be shown again and the effing thing comes out on DVD next month.

A Perfect Murder, this movie is so much eye candy for me. I dream of one day being able to live in Manhattan in a fabulous apartment like Michael Douglas and Gwyneth Paltrow do in this movie. Of course my dream has absolutely nothing to do with that raw pot roast the maid out together just before she left for the day. I have a recurring daydream about cavorting in a tub like that with VDO. Ah, someday.

New things I tried:

Cruising.

I got hooked up with a great price for a four day cruise (seriously good price, I don't think they charged me enough to cover all the food I ate, cause if I ate out that many meals in Houston for four days my credit card would be serioulsy swollen)Honestly never knew that the Gulf of Mexico could have water so beautiful and clean, go to the beach in Galveston and you are sticking your feet into dirt soup.

Speaking of food, I tried:

Passionfruit mouse, OMG! That was fabulous! I'd say that I'd try to replicate this creamy tart sweet silky goodness in my own kitchen, but since I haven't mastered microwave popcorn or pot pies yet, the probably isn't a happening thing.

Grand Mariner Souffle, Another OMG! But, souffle I'm pretty sure is best left to the professionals.

Chateaubriand, With this being my first sample, I'll stick to burgers from now on. Try as we might, we could never figure out what the hell cut of meat that was. It was tough as hell and just kept expanding the more we chewed. My view, that cut of meat was the last part over the fence cause that's sorta what it smelled like. YUCKO

Other than that though the food was good, some remarkably so and somebody else was cooking it, getting it on the table and cleaning up the kitchen. How can you compalin about that?

Mexico.

Said cruise went to Calica, Mexico. We were supposed to go to Cozumel, but they are still repairing damage from Hurricane Wilma (thanks, bitch) and we could not go into port there, so we went to Calica. I'm thinking that I've seen enough of the third world now, thank you. I'd go back to see the ruins at Chicinitza (that probably isn't how it's spelled) but I won't be going back for much else.

We took a shore excursion to the ruins at Tuluma. A five hour excursion which would have taken 3.5 had it not been for the stop at the "art center" where local artisan's display their crafts. Yeah. All stuff that I could get on Houston's near north side a helluva lot cheaper. Seriously, I think the art center was probably owned by the bus driver's uncle or something. Anyway, we get to the ruins and walk around, haul our big asses down to the beach and step out into the clearest prettiest water I've seen in a long time. And the iguanas, all over this fucking place there are iguana's hanging out soaking up the sunshine. Betcha at night when the park closes and no one is around that place is a regular iguana circus.

I might try another cruise, I try to never rule out anything completely, but I'll need to do a few other things first. Things that don't involve sea-sickness and still feeling like you're floating on a very rocky ocean a week later.

Von Dutch Energy Drink, ok, never really speculated what lighter fluid mixed with cat pee would taste like, now I think I know. This is one thing I hereby rule out completely!!! Never, ever again!

Oh man, I had so much more material, but I'm steadily winding down energy wise. Classes start next week and I am looking forward to it, and then again I'm not looking forward to it.