Just because it's time to celebrate the birth of Baby Jesus doesn't mean I'm going to wake up anytime soon and like hazelnut candy.

Hazelnuts, or as we used to call them, filberts.

I hate those fucking things.

I don't want them in candy, cookies, cake frosting, actually, all of the hazelnut trees could wither and die right now and fall off the face of the Earth en masse and I wouldn't be bothered.

So when one of the guys from the second floor office came down offering everybody a fabulous gold wrapped, our commercials are to haute for your t.v. but we'll show it to you anyway because you are such a heretic that you insist on saying the word filbert, piece of ground up hazelnut in some chocolate, I just smiled and said "no, thank you."

Could have heard a pin drop. As it was obvious that I was the ONLY person in the office who was not acquainted with the virtues of this filbert-based concoction, one of my co-workers sets out to convince me of it's worthiness.

"But you like chocolate." This statement makes perfect sense to her, it doesn't really follow for me however that just because I like chocolate means I am socially required to accept candy that I don't want. And the fella who is obviously trying to get rid of the filbert filled foulness smiles hopefully as he thrusts the little plastic tray back towards me.

"Well, yeah, but I don't like those." The fella with the tray looks at me like I'm crazy, then says goodbye as he walks off with his single piece of crusty crap filled chocolate glace crappola.

And all of this left me to wondering...

If that candy is such hot shit, why is he trying to get rid of it?